


maybe you would've been (something i'd be good at)

by platonics



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Angst, Anxiety Attacks, Foreshadowing, Holding Hands, Hurt Minimal Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Introspection, Irony, Late Night Conversations, Lowercase, Nonbinary Shinguji Korekiyo, Other, Unresolved Emotional Tension, Vulnerability, doors as metaphors for emotional distance, passing notes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-14
Updated: 2020-05-14
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:15:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24177259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/platonics/pseuds/platonics
Summary: “um...are you okay?” she asked through the door. even though nobody was around to witness her, she could feel her face heating up, embarrassed by how awkwardly she was probably handling this.himiko and korekiyo have a talk. some things are too big to be solved in one conversation.
Relationships: Shinguji Korekiyo & Yumeno Himiko, Shinguji Korekiyo/Yumeno Himiko
Comments: 8
Kudos: 23





	maybe you would've been (something i'd be good at)

**Author's Note:**

> wow this is kind of almost canon compliant if you squint? how rare for me
> 
> can be interpreted as pre-romance or strictly platonic! set in-game -- exactly when should become obvious

the fourth floor was especially creepy at nighttime. it was always at least a little creepy — if it wasn’t for the fact that angie’s lab was there, himiko would probably avoid it entirely. but during the day, when things were brighter and there were more signs of her classmates going about their business, it was almost cute compared to now. 

as soon as the door of angie’s lab closed behind her, a shiver ran down her spine. himiko barely even noticed the time when she was in there, ignoring the chimes of the nighttime announcement in favor of continuing their conversation. but angie said she wanted to work on her preparations for the ritual for a while before going to bed, so himiko had been shooed off.

it must have been around midnight. nobody else should be out at this hour, save perhaps the other student council members, but that didn’t bring her any comfort. if anything, it put her more on edge, attuned to each and every sound as she started to make her way towards the stairs, no matter how small.

she just had to make it back to the dorms. what were the odds that anything would happen in that time?

reminding herself of that helped a little, but himiko only made it as far as the hall leading to the three empty rooms before a soft noise made her flinch. feeling her heart speed up, she froze, listening carefully. it was barely audible, something she would’ve missed if everything else wasn’t so silent, but she was sure she heard something. the noise seemed to have come from one of the empty rooms, but she couldn’t tell which one, or exactly what it was. all three doors were closed, not offering any hints.

she was about to keep walking when she heard it again, from behind the door closest to her. the sound was still quiet and muffled, as if someone was trying very hard to be silent, but there was no mistaking it. someone was crying.

angie would want her to escort whoever it was back to their room, but just the thought of butting in and potentially humiliating them was enough to make her palms sweaty and throat tight. sure, they might technically be breaking the rules, but she doubted anyone hiding somewhere to cry posed much of a threat. it should be fine if she just left.

on the other hand, could she really ignore it? maybe they were secretly wishing for someone to comfort them. himiko could understand that desire. as someone who’d done some secret crying of her own, she felt horribly lonely and afraid, but exposing how weak she really was by asking for comfort was unthinkable. she just made do with what angie offered. people not on the student council didn’t have angie to give them hugs and tell them how useful they were though.

she crept closer to the door, floorboards creaking underfoot. when she leaned her head against the door to listen, she could hear the ragged, choked breathing even more clearly. like even alone, they were fighting their emotions instead of giving in. that was another thing she could understand. straightening up again and glancing up and down the dimly lit hall, himiko made a decision.

“um...are you okay?” she asked through the door. even though nobody was around to witness her, she could feel her face heating up, embarrassed by how awkwardly she was probably handling this. something told her that going to get angie would be the wrong choice though, so she’d just have to try her best.

no answer. if anything, the person on the other side seemed to have gotten even quieter. just as embarrassed as her, probably. maybe they didn’t want her to know who they were? that felt like something she’d do herself. after waiting a few extra seconds just in case, she tried again.

“i’m alone, just so you know. and i’m not asking as a student council member. i won’t tell on you to angie. but...you don’t have to say anything if you still don’t want to. i just thought...i could stay a little while, if you want. i have lots of spells to cheer people up.” she shifted nervously from foot to foot, still trying to keep a close eye on her surroundings. she still didn’t get any response, and it took a few moments for her to realize why. they couldn’t exactly express their preference without talking.

“knock once if you want me to stay, and twice if you want me to go away,” she tried, feeling even more ridiculous than before.

a single, quiet knock rang out against the door. it was low, like they were sitting on the floor. slowly, himiko sank down to the floor as well, smoothing out her skirt beneath her. 

“okay. i’ll stay.”

the eerie silence lingered. himiko shivered, bracing herself against the solid wood of the door as her gaze kept flickering this way and that. a potential murderer on the prowl wasn’t the only thing she had to be nervous about. there was also the possibility of angie leaving her lab for the night and finding her there. she didn’t want this interrupted, though she couldn’t fully explain why.

“i’m not sure what to do besides just sitting here,” she admitted. “there’s not much magic i can do when we can’t see each other.” she sighed, no longer even expecting an answer. this was probably all a colossal waste of time.

as soon as that thought crossed her mind, a sheet of paper slid under the door toward her. lined, relatively small. it appeared to have been neatly torn out of a notebook or journal. a note for her? himiko picked it up, taking in the sight of elegant, unfamiliar handwriting. it was a little messy, like whoever wrote it was fighting against shaky hands, but that didn’t stop it from being quite pretty.

[ The company alone is already more than I expected. ]

“oh. well, you must have expected _something_ , if you came prepared. not everyone carries around a notebook and pen everywhere,” she said with an uncertain chuckle, sliding the paper back under the door. the next response came just as quickly.

[ Maybe they should. Better to be prepared, yes? ]

“i guess so.” the words escaped with a wisp of melancholy she didn’t mean to let show. better to be prepared...wasn’t that the same motto she’d been trying to live by in this killing game? better to be prepared for pain and betrayal, better to create distance so it wouldn’t hurt as much. 

“ah, i’m always prepared as long as i have my magic, though.” it was an abruptly tacked-on afterthought, like it could paper over her weakness.

[ Your mastery of the arcane is truly impressive. I regret that I never had a chance to tell you how enjoyable your magic show was. ] 

passing the paper back and forth under the door was starting to feel more natural, settling into a conversational pattern that was only a little awkward. at that message though, himiko stayed silent for a while, the tightness of her grip sending crinkles through the paper. she had to smooth it out against the floor before she could return it.

“how can you say that after what happened? my show didn’t make anyone smile at all.” useless. utterly useless. the only thing she had going for her was her talent as an entertainer. she could lift people’s hearts, take away their burdens for an hour. if even that skill was taken away from her, what purpose did she have?

[ What happened was unfortunate, but until that point, I liked it very much. ]

“thanks,” she mumbled. things had gotten quieter. she could no longer hear any choked sobs or desperate gasping for breath. “are you feeling a little better?”

[ Yeah. I’m fine. ] the presentation of the message conveyed the opposite. it looked aggressive. ink bled into the paper, like they’d pressed down almost hard enough to tear it. 

“right.” better than they were a few minutes ago, sure, but fine? it was an obvious lie, and one they could’ve easily made believable with just a little more care. so why? back still against the door, himiko stretched her legs out in front of her, fingers drumming idly against her thigh. she wasn’t even sure whether they wanted her to stay or go at this point.

“well, if you wanna talk about it or anything...” the silence lingered uncomfortably, much like before they started passing notes. himiko still wasn’t even entirely sure of who she was talking to, but that was more due to her choosing not to think about it up until now than any remaining mystery. for that matter, with the size of the gap below the door, perhaps a little more than half an inch, just lowering her head to the floor and peeking might give her a hint.

it was someone who seemed lonely yet deeply uncomfortable with opening up, with pretty handwriting and a relatively formal way of speaking. someone who thought to carry around a journal in this place — to take notes? of the twelve people alive (ten, once she subtracted herself and angie), there was really only one who would fit all of the criteria.

korekiyo, huh? she couldn’t be completely sure that’s who it was. there was always a chance that someone else had hidden depths. it was easier not to acknowledge it anyway. easier to talk like this to a faceless abstraction than a real person.

[ It’s nothing you need to be burdened with. ]

“if it’s related to the killing game, we’re all burdened by that already. what’s the difference?” korekiyo never seemed to be very bothered by the game, but it was the only reason himiko could think of.

[ It isn’t. Not exactly. ]

“oh. okay.” she closed her eyes for a moment. after she next slid the paper under the door, she wedged her fingers through the oversized gap too, as far as they would go. it was a tight fit, the door scraping the top of her hand and trapping it flat against the floor. her intended message got across though. gauze-wrapped fingers rested atop her own — not quite hand holding, but as close to it as they could get.

she wondered why they didn’t take the bandages off before touching her, to avoid confirming their identity. maybe they thought she was too stupid to realize they were the only one who covered their hands like that — even miu’s gloves were fingerless. maybe they just didn’t care as much as she thought.

“still,” himiko said eventually. “i offered. it wouldn’t be that much of a pain to listen. or...read, technically.” soft laughter sounded from the other side of the door. she wasn’t sure what was funny, but korekiyo was strange like that.

[ How kind of you. You really would be a wonderful friend. ]

“thanks, i think.” she frowned, brow furrowed in confusion. the wording of that was a little weird, but maybe it was just her reading too much into it. “we could be friends, y’know. there’s no reason to just wonder about it.” she almost mentioned that she never thought they had any interest in talking to her before, but caught herself just in time to continue the facade of anonymity.

[ Is that so? ]

“yeah. sure.” their fingers tightened over her own. “why not? angie might be a little unhappy about it, but i’m sure she’d come around. so i wouldn’t mind being friends with you, if that’s what you want.” 

she could hear them muttering softly to themself, too quiet for her to make out any of the words.

[ You’re full of surprises, Himiko. ] a pause followed, in which she had no idea how to respond, and then another note. [ I’ve never had a friend of my own before. ]

“huh? why?” even as she spoke, she knew it was a bit of a rude question, but curiosity and tiredness had eroded any sense of etiquette. this conversation was already weird enough, so what difference did it make?

[ Other responsibilities. Besides, it’s much easier to observe when I can remain objective. ]

it sounded like anthropology was a very lonely profession if that was the case. himiko suspected most in the field didn’t share korekiyo’s unfalteringly pure sense of devotion though. plenty of anthropologists probably had perfectly normal social lives. she yawned quietly, muffling it with her free hand.

“mm. are you sure that’s okay?” she could feel her throat tightening up in pure embarrassment. she buried her head in her hand, counting the floorboards through the gaps between her fingers.

the response came not as another written message but a verbal one, brittle and barely audible.

“it’s not my choice.” the grip on her hand loosened, then vanished entirely. getting the message, himiko withdrew her hand, back to her side of the door. she wanted to ask what they meant, or say that she wouldn’t mind being the first.

“angie’ll be leaving her lab soon,” she said instead. “you should leave before she finds you here.”

“yeah, i will soon. you go on ahead. you sound tired.”

“yeah.” slowly, she heaved herself to her feet, stretching her stiff limbs. there didn’t seem to be anything else to say. when she lifted her hand to tuck her hair behind her ear, she noticed a bit of dust on her fingers. sawdust? weird. casting a brief glance back at the door, himiko shook her head and continued down the hall, brushing the dust off her hand.

she didn’t feel like she helped much, but maybe she at least calmed them down a little quicker than they would have done on their own. that was better than nothing. maybe she could show them some magic sometime, since they were nice enough to compliment it. but how would they react to her acknowledging this conversation? that might take some thought. maybe she made a mistake in not just getting it over with and saying something before she left.

oh well, she thought, nearing the front doors of the school building by now. the important part was knowing she wanted to talk to them again. as for the ‘how,’ there was always tomorrow.

**Author's Note:**

> it's been...a fucking time. despite not posting in over a month i've still been working on stuff! just mostly not finishing it. not super happy with this but at least i got something done. hopefully i'll get back into the swing of things more soon but we'll see :')


End file.
